Years. It's been years since I spilt with my sons mother. God I miss her. It shows my complete insanity. I love her as much today as I did 15 years go when she walked into Applebee's in a gold skirt and black calf-boots. Her smile burned into my mind and her love into my heart. We are great freinds, but the hard times have done serious damage. And I don't know why or what is making me so confused lately, but I miss her so much. I hurt inside.

Well I know the words...
But I can't really speak them...
To you...

And I hide all the pain...
That I've gained with my wisdom...
From you�

And I'm eaten alive...
By what I hold inside...
All the things that I live with...
I can't easily hide...

And I'm left here with nothing...
Nothing to live for...
But you...

It's not easy to hide...
All this damage inside...
And I'll carry it with me...
Until I'm not alive...

When you look at my face...
Does it seem just as ugly...
To you...
And I can't seem to erase...
All the scars I have lived with...
From you...

I'm so sick of this place...
And this taste in my mouth...
Cause of you I can't figure...
What I'm all about...

And I'm left here with nothing...
Nothing to live for...
But you...

It's not easy to hide...
All this damage inside...
And I'll carry it with me...
Till I'm not alive...

Had a great night last night. Nothing fancy. But def got my ass handed to me in some card game. I should never be allowed to play drinking games.

On my way to pick up Kim and go out. Blackberry acting odd. Texts are sketchy.

Hung out with my cousin and her friend from MI last night. Had a few drinks. The late night caffeine is killing me this morning. Jitterville going on. Looking forward to 3 today.

Great showing to the Moore brothers!! The finishes do not come close to showing what they have finally done to prove freestyle quad guys deserve mass respect. Total hats off!

I'm at photoshoot. Have the snowmobile best trick started yet?

Why do they use non-removable screws in bar bathrooms? Is there really a problem with people stealing the urinal walls? :/

Anyone know what time eliminations start for the snowmobile best trick?

Oh I'm sorry @cincinnatienquirer I thought there would be a slight chance you would have results on the xgames. I forgot its not Belgium soccer... Wtf?

Way to go Caleb! Great rookie year!

Can't wait for 9pm!!

The @xgames SMB judges are totally being prejudice assholes!

Holy shioattttttt!!! Flying squirrel!!! First time done on a snowmobile!! Way to go caleb!

Colton and caleb up next!!

Snowmobiles coming up next on ESPN360.

Good morning world. Why am I out of coffee? Is it the weekend yet? Oh wait, I never worry about that anyway.

Another Blackberry toasted. I cant read txts/msgs right now. If you need me, send an email or msg me here. Or call the store number later.

Ok

Anyone seen the Silversun Pickups unplugged? Holy shioaatt they are amazing acoustic!

Why does sitting parking lots waiting for someone always feel so creepy?

Walls at store are officially done and look amazing!!

Someone just told me that sleeping with a woman 17 years younger than me could be fatal. Welp, if she dies, she dies. Damn.

Go Vikes!!

Why is Pam Oliver wearing hardware chain and a big zero aroubd her neck? Huh... Fitting.

Looks like Indy bitches. So much for that money. >:(

All old walls and trim primed. New walls just need sanded. It looks great inside! Taking break for wings & football.

Sitting in the car here at the hockey game and Steven is so asleep he doesn't seem to want to wake up.

Have I mentioned that, although insanely stressful and busy, life is really good right now?

Just caught a guy doing the walk of shame from my DISGUSTING neighbors place. You can bet I made a point to smile and say 'Hi'!! Lol

I wanna be a diversity, double-wammy.

Finally laid down on the couch to chill for an hour. Kiddo showering before bed. I can't focus on the Indy party invites, cuz I got the nightlife on my mind.

Just went and had dinner at Heathers. Held the baby and chilled for a bit. Headed home to work on Indy stuff.

Drinking a Dos Equis, eating mexican with Meyer Boy, texting Kim, working out Indy stuff and then mounting speakers and running wiring at the store.

People in cincinnati make 0 sense. For once I'm going easy. The roads are much worse than they appear. 4 cars off the road in 3 miles. Huh...

Holy smokes!!! A letter just arrived for photos I sold for a kids book that was published in 2007!! Its called 'Wild About ATV's" anyone ever seen it?

Just had lunch with Kim, picked out flooring for the store and picked up 600 shirts. Is it 5 yet? Clearly my days suck.... NOT!!

Exhuasted this morning. Struggling to get out of bed. Gotta meet people at the store then head to contract job.

Tiger Woods admitted himself to a sex addiction clinic where they wean you off sex. I tried it too. After 6 months I never could shake that monkey off my back.

Sooooooo not happening!!!

Ugh! Just finished giving a phone interview with a european website. I wish I understood their slang so I didn't sound like an idiot saying 'what?' Every two mins.

Everyone be sure and checkout the new desktop background calendars over at: atvondemand.com you won't be disappointed. My shots, their site, good stuff!

Construction work flippin blows without saw horses! WTF!

Indy Expo is only 4 Fri's away. The show is looking small, but the parties are looking big. With no QUAD party who is up for an Exposed party on Sat night this year? Sharpie tattoo contest again.

Hung 10 sheets of drywall at the store today. Only one left after a quick lunch. 2-3 days of floating & mud work then the hardwood floor on Sat!! Trim, lighting & sound next week.

Why can I not find the Supercross race on TV?!? >:(

Home from hanging some drywall. Def have another days work on it. Now its time to chill on the couch and catch up on emails and tax paperwork. Blaaaah

Def had an interesting night. Lots of fun, corn-hole tourny, a few beers, pizza, a brunette and early retreat.

Gonna pick up a girly later and go play in some corn-hole fund raiser. Should be a fun evening.

Why does my studio smell of burnt wood?

Sooooo tired today. Insomnia is kicking in big-time. Way too much stuff going on while trying to open the store, prepare for Indy, get orders filled and other crazy people stuff. I'm in a great mood but exhausted.

Hey hey!! Heather just had her baby!!!! 8 pound 6 oz little boy!!

For anyone whom has known me for a LONG time: I JUST opened up a Xmas present from Millie!! A skillsaw, I needed to cut plywood.

OMFG!!!!!!!!

Our franchise player just sealed our fate. Thanks ShaneG. Oh, and thank you Lewis for playing another shitty, conservative game while in the playoffs. FAIL

Who dey!!

Keys are in hand! Let the construction begin!!

Ugh. So much snow on the car. Blaaaaaah. I hate winter. Super big day today. Cross your fingers for me!

It amazes me how fast people drive in an elementary school parking lot when they come to pickup their kids. Leave earlier assholes, maybe you won't be late.

Bing 'decision search' should be called 'Bong'. Half the results make me think their system is smoking pot!

Just made dinner. Finished up a shirt design for a client. Working on some paperwork for the new retail spot and chillin.

Been sick as hell for two days on top of a cold. Nasty case of mild food poisoning. I gotta be honest, I never want to see a bad case. :/

I want to wish everyone a happy new year. I got 685 texts and I answer them all.